Oxenfree Wiki
Advertisement

Dialogue

- 8 PM -

Alex, Ren and Jonas are on a Boat heading to Edwards Island.

Ren: It used to be a military base. Well, it used to be a ranching thing, then it was turned into an army thing, then it became a bird thing and a museum or whatever. Henry Fonda stationed here, I think, for a bit. Unless he was Navy...

Jonas: Who’s Henry Fonda?

Ren: Around Christmas-time, this little breakfast place used to sell these amazing polar bear sugar cookies. Man, those were good. And then one year they changed the formula or whatever and ruined it. Alex. Hey. Still with us? You haven’t said anything for like ten minutes. Mission Control to Alex, this is Big Poppa, do you read me?

My mind drifted.

Alex: Yeah. Yeah, my... my mind drifted for a second.

I’m listening.

Alex: I can watch the hypnotic rolling of the waves and listen to you at the same time.

Ren: Oh, okay. What did I say? Little Miss I Can See and Hear Things At the Same Time.

Edwards Island.

Alex: The cookies are great on Edwards Island.

Ren: Used to be great... but you passed, thank you.

Something something cookies.

Alex: Something, something, cookies, or whatever.

Ren: Perfect. You’re right on the money.

Uh, Bird Island or whatever.

Alex: Uh, something about Bird Island, or... pancakes, I don’t know.

Ren: Perfect. You’re right on the money.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: Yeah, Jonas what you’re seeing right now is what I like to call a “trip,” this blank stare thing Alex’ll do sometimes. You might think something’s wrong, but there isn’t. She’s just rebooting.

Jonas: Okay, noted.

Yeah, sorry.

Alex: Yeah, um, sorry.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: Yeah, Jonas what you’re seeing right now is what I like to call a “trip,” this blank stare thing Alex’ll do sometimes. You might think something’s wrong, but there isn’t. She’s just rebooting.

Jonas: Okay, noted.

Ren: So, you all moved in?

Jonas: Uh, not— not really. I just got in this morning.

Ren: And how did her mom meet your dad, exactly?

Jonas: They met on vacation in Orlando? He got lost in a— you know, actually, I’m not even gonna tell this story. It’s really not worth it.

Ren: Okay.

Yes, please don’t.

Alex: Uhh. Yes, please don’t. Let’s not relive their meet-cute anymore than we have to.

No, what happened?

Alex: No, wait, what happened? I feel like I haven’t heard this.

Jonas: He got lost in some gardens and he thought she worked there and blah blah blah they hit it off.

Ren: Awww, that’s downright adorable.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Ren: And you guys just met tonight?

Jonas: Yeah, I was, um... I’d been out at school and the timing had just never worked out, so...

Ren: And what does that make you to her then? A, uh, second cousin...? I don’t know how people math works.

A step-brother.

Alex: He’s my step-brother.

Ren: Oh yeah! I forgot that was even a thing.

Just some guy.

Alex: Uhhh, he’s just some guy? What else would he be?

Ren: No, but isn’t there like a term for it?

Jonas: Um, step-brother, technically.

Ren: Oh yeah! I forgot that was even a thing.

A roommate.

Alex: He’ll be like a roommate, really.

Ren: No, but isn’t there like a term for it?

Jonas: Um, step-brother, technically.

Ren: Oh yeah! I forgot that was even a thing.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Um, step-brother, technically.

Ren: Oh yeah! I forgot that was even a thing.

Ren: Well at least you seem cool, right? Cool guy, cool hat... you get a cool new sibling, living right in your house... Sharing your toothbrush... wearing your clothes... eating your food... smelling up your bathroom.

Jonas: I, uh, have my own toothbrush.

Ren: Well throw it out! It’s useless now.

No, that’s weird.

Alex: No, that’s the weird part. I mean, isn’t it— the concept of just getting a new sister like a puppy, isn’t it kinda awkward?

Jonas: No, it’s been totally bizarre. But just for the record I don’t consider you a pet.

Sure, whatever.

Alex: Yeah, sure, whatever, I have someone to reach the food on the top shelf now.

Jonas: Just happy to be on the team.

Yeah, it’s nice.

Alex: Yeah, no, it’s a... nice perk, I guess. Unless you’re, like, a pyro or something...

Jonas: Just a klepto, so... you’re in luck.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Jonas: So... how do you two know each other?

Ren: Oh, from way back when, like paleozoic. Grade school era. Young enough that I’ve seen her in a bathtub and it wasn’t sexual at all. I mean, we both looked like little skinned potato blobs. And to date that’s still what I think she looks like under her clothes.

Ahhhhhh, stop.

Alex: Ahhhh! Ren! Why are you even talking about this!

Ren: It’s humorous! Right? It’s just interesting, I think it’s interesting.

Best buds, clearly.

Alex: Yeah, well, you don’t see a man’s toddler penis and not become best friends after that.

Ren: Yeah, exactly. Bond stronger than oak.

How I’ve tried to forget.

Alex: Ugh, it’s so creepy now to think about.

Ren: Why?! We were babies, it’s funny, that’s all.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Tour Guide: Passengers, we’ll be arriving soon. Check under your seat to make sure you don’t leave any personal belongings.

Ren: “Check under your seat to make sure you don’t leave behind any grandchildren.”

Tour Guide: And if you picked up a complimentary disposable radio, remember to tune to 102.3 at the various plaques. We encourage you to listen in to our Edwards Island Walking Tour, and hear more about the fascinating events of this historical landmark.

Who’s talking?

Alex: Uh. Wait, who’s talking right now?

Ren: It’s a recording. They always play it.

How do you know this?

Alex: Uhh, so... How do you know what—?

Ren: It’s a recording. They always play it.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Ren: Oh, oh, we should get a quick picture, all of us. This’ll be like the before shot. “They’re on their way!”

Why?

Alex: Why? Shouldn’t we wait until we get there or... at least meet up with the others?

Ren: No, no no this is the core unit, anyway. The rest are like our guest stars.

Great!

Alex: Yeah, let’s do it.

Fine.

Alex: Fine. Just... hold the camera out. Like, far. I don’t look my freshest right now...

Ren: It’s true, Jonas, this is like B- Alex, just for your, uh, calibration.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Ren and Jonas gets up to take a group picture.

Ren: And it’s Jonas? Not Jonah?

Jonas: Yeah, Jonas. Like Jonas Salk?

Ren: Right, patient zero, AIDS guy.

Jonas: Um, polio.

It’s biblical... Right?

Alex: It’s, uh, biblical, right? Or is that the lion guy?

Jonas: I think every name’s biblical, so... probably.

It means, “oppressor...”

Alex: Jonas. It means, “oppressor,” right?

Ren: Yeah, but I mean my sign’s Cancer and... it’s not like my hair is falling out or anything...

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Ren: Here’s good.

Ren: C’mon, Alex, join the fun!

Ren: We, uh, need a girl in the picture, Alex, to balance some of this out.

Ren: Alex, we’re not taking the pic until you get in here.

Ren: I can wait all night. Well maybe not all night but until the boat docks.

Alex goes next to Ren and Jonas to pose for the picture. They take a group photo.

Ren: There! Great. I’ll magic erase all the warts out and stuff so don’t worry. Hey, Alex, you brought the radio, right? The little portable one?

Of course!

Alex: Yeah, of course.

Ren: Perfect. Can you pull it out a second?

What radio?

Alex: What radio?

Ren: That little— you know, the little— it almost looks like a toy, the— oh. Oh. Oh, you’re joking. Just bring it out, will you.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: Just bring it out, will you.

Alex takes out the portable radio.

Ren: There’s the little guy. Our high school has a radio station and Carly— she’s a friend of ours- she’s filling in because Reggie got mono from some track runner or something. It doesn’t matter, what matters is that she’s gonna say something like... basically right now about our thing, so... Tune it to 88.3 so I can tell her we heard it.

Ren: It’s, uh, to the left of the dial. 88.3.

Ren: If we miss it, I’ll never hear the end from her.

Ren: Alex, for the love of all that is holy, it’s 88.3!

Alex tunes the radio to 88.3. They listen to Carly and not long after, they lose signal

Ren: Haha! That’s awesome! I hope Christina—with her Talent Show Judge face—was listening.

Ren: We must be getting close. There’s no radio reception on the island... I’m glad I got to hear it before it went totally kaput.

Jonas: If we can’t use it, why’d you bring it? Not just for the boat...

Ren: Um, no. You’ll see. Don’t expect too much, but... nah, it’ll be fun, I won’t undercook it. You’ll see.

They arrive to Edwards Island

Ren: Smell that clean air, boys and girls. Boy and girl. This ain’t city livin’.

Jonas: Yeah, uh, anybody need a smoke? I have a full pack.

Ren: Ah. Oh, uh, no thanks. I mean, I literally just said the clean air thing, so.

Jonas: Alex? You can bum one off me if you’re empty. I forget if you’re a fellow addict.

Yeah, sure.

Alex: Yeah, sure.

Ren: Really? Since when do you smoke? Last time you tried it I thought you were gonna vomit on my shoes.

Eh, he’s right, I shouldn’t.

Alex: Eh, Ren's right, I probably shouldn't.

Jonas: Okay, just checking.

I’m being polite!

Alex: I'm being polite, you should try it sometimes.

Ren: Okayyy, just remember... aim to throw up in the water.

Ren sits on the stairs nearby, Jonas hands you a cigarette.

Jonas: Here’s the smoke if you want it.

Jonas: Or...

(Take the cigarette.)

Alex takes a puff of the cigarette.

Alex: [coughing]

Jonas: You alright? They’re filtered...

Flavor country!

Alex: Yeah, yeah, no, I am in... flavor countryover here.

Ren gets up

It’s, uh, been a while...

Alex: Yeah no, it's just... been a while...

Ren gets up

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: You okay? Okay.

Ren gets up

(Don’t take the cigarette.)

Jonas: It’s okay, nevermind.

Ren gets up

I wanna smoke!

Alex: Since now, that's since when.

Ren: Okayyy, just remember... aim to throw up in the water.

Ren sits on the stairs nearby, Jonas hands you a cigarette.

Jonas: Here’s the smoke if you want it.

Jonas: Or...

(Take the cigarette.)

Alex takes a puff of the cigarette.

Alex: [coughing]

Jonas: You alright? They’re filtered...

Flavor country!

Alex: Yeah, yeah, no, I am in... flavor countryover here.

Ren gets up

It’s, uh, been a while...

Alex: Yeah no, it's just... been a while...

Ren gets up

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: You okay? Okay.

Ren gets up

(Don’t take the cigarette.)

Jonas: It’s okay, nevermind.

Ren gets up

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: We’ll be quick, we’ll meet you by the thing.

Ren: Okayyy, just remember... aim to throw up in the water.

Ren sits on the stairs nearby, Jonas hands you a cigarette.

Jonas: Here’s the smoke if you want it.

Jonas: Or...

(Take the cigarette.)

Alex takes a puff of the cigarette.

Alex: [coughing]

Jonas: You alright? They’re filtered...

Flavor country!

Alex: Yeah, yeah, no, I am in... flavor countryover here.

Ren gets up

It’s, uh, been a while...

Alex: Yeah no, it's just... been a while...

Ren gets up

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: You okay? Okay.

Ren gets up

(Don’t take the cigarette.)

Jonas: It’s okay, nevermind.

Ren gets up

No thanks.

Alex: Oh, uh, no thanks, I don't smoke. The last time I had one it... didn't go well.

Ren: Yeah, no, I didn't know what "coughing with your whole body" meant until I saw you dry heaving.

Jonas: Okay, just checking.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: Oh, you know what, she doesn’t smoke either, so...

Jonas: Okay, just checking.

Ren: Alright, my other friends should be up and around the bend...

Jonas: Actually, that— I mean I don’t mean to be the guy to break us up early, but Ren, could you do me a favor? Can I have like two real quick minutes with Alex for a second? And you can, you know— you can run up and meet your friends.

Ren: Uh, really? Just... that’s kinda...

Jonas: It’ll take three minutes, tops.

What’s wrong with Ren being here?

Alex: Uh, what could you possibly have to say that Ren can’t hear?

Jonas: It’s not like that, it’s nothing, really. It’s just something I wanna talk to you about super fast, that’s all.

Is something wrong?

Alex: Wait, is something wrong? What is it?

Jonas: Nothing’s wrong, nothing’s wrong, it’ll just take two minutes, super fast.

Don’t be weird already, Jonas.

Alex: Jonas, c'mon, I vouched for you sight unseen and you're already acting super weird.

Jonas: And I appreciate the voucher, I do, and I'm not trying to seem weird. I just want two minutes alone, that's it.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Ren: Alright, but— Uh. Look, I don’t wanna go up by myself. I mean, can’t we just stick together, you’re gonna have all night to say, like... whatever.

Jonas: But since you wanna meet up with your friends anyway...

Ren: We’re all gonna meet up with them. It’s like a buddy system. So let’s be buddies.

Let’s keep together.

Alex: C’mon, Jonas, this is... let’s just all go up. I don’t wanna send Ren away like a dear hound.

Ren: Yeah, it’s fine, and you can talk to Alex later. We’re like at hour one here. You’ll have ample family bonding time.

Jonas: Uh... yeah, fine, sure. No problem.

I’ll hear what Jonas has to say.

Alex: No, it's-- it's fine, Ren, go on up ahead and we'll catch up with you.

Ren starts walking away.

Ren: Um... okay. I guess. Though this is like a really strange way to start off, splitting up.

Jonas: It'll be fast. Thanks, man.

Ren: I'll be just up the hill in case... whatever.

Alex and Jonas are left alone.

Jonas: Ren seems nice. He's funny, you know. Reminds me of a guy I know back home.

He is.

Alex: Yeah. I mean, he's harmless. But yeah, he's nice.

He annoys me.

Alex: I dunno. He sometimes gets on my nerves.

What did you want to talk about?

Alex: Yeah, he's-- Look, just what did you want to talk to me about before I suspect something nefarious.

Jonas: No, it's nothing... it's not bad.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Jonas: Listen, I just wanted to grab you ahead of time and say you've been... cool... about everything. And... I guess it's just-- for me, I, I've-- I've never moved anywhere, and, like getting a new family at the same time kinda feels like I'm skipping the training wheels. Not that it's been bad or anything. You and your mom have been great.

You miss your friends?

Alex: Yeah, I'm sure you miss your friends.

Jonas: Eh. There's not much to miss, to be honest.

We'll make the best of it.

Alex: Eh, we'll make do. Lemons, lemonade, however that goes.

Jonas: An optimist. Oh, Christ.

Stop it.

Alex: Oh stop it.

And proud of it!

Alex: [chuckles] Yeah, I'm an optimist and proud of it!

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

How do you think I feel?

Alex: Well how do you think I feel? My house just shrunk by half because my mom decided to get some in Florida.

Jonas: No, I know, I'm sorry.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: It'll just be a lot to adjust to, I guess.

Jonas: Oh, and thanks for setting up the attic for me... It's cool, how it's like a little bedroom. I was in the basement at my old house so this, is an improvement.

That was Mike's room...

Alex: That was, uh... that was Mike's room, actually... so... there wasn't that much to set up.

Jonas: Oh. Oh, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up.

It's okay.

Alex: It's okay, you didn't know.

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I guess a brother-sister rapport takes some time...

We'll get there.

Alex: Yeah, no, give it a week and we'll be like Siskel and Ebert.

Jonas: Always fighting?

Precicely.

Alex: Precicely.

Only over movies.

Alex: Yeah, but... only over movies.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

A lot of time.

Alex: Yeah, well... don't set your stopwatch or anything. It might be a while.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Not that, you know, we need to be, uh... oh, forget it.

Let's change the subject.

Alex: Let's just change the subject.

Jonas: No, absolutely.

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I couldn't think of a different subject...

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: We can-- we can catch back up with Ren now, I didn't mean to take so long.

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I guess a brother-sister rapport takes some time...

We'll get there.

Alex: Yeah, no, give it a week and we'll be like Siskel and Ebert.

Jonas: Always fighting?

Precicely.

Alex: Precicely.

Only over movies.

Alex: Yeah, but... only over movies.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

A lot of time.

Alex: Yeah, well... don't set your stopwatch or anything. It might be a while.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Not that, you know, we need to be, uh... oh, forget it.

No problem...

Alex: Yeah, no problem, any time.

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I guess a brother-sister rapport takes some time...

We'll get there.

Alex: Yeah, no, give it a week and we'll be like Siskel and Ebert.

Jonas: Always fighting?

Precicely.

Alex: Precicely.

Only over movies.

Alex: Yeah, but... only over movies.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

A lot of time.

Alex: Yeah, well... don't set your stopwatch or anything. It might be a while.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Not that, you know, we need to be, uh... oh, forget it.

We didn't set it for you.

Alex: Well we didn't, uh... we didn't actually set it up for you.

Jonas: Oh. Crap, that was probably... that was Michael's room, right? Man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up.

It's okay.

Alex: It's okay, you didn't know.

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I guess a brother-sister rapport takes some time...

We'll get there.

Alex: Yeah, no, give it a week and we'll be like Siskel and Ebert.

Jonas: Always fighting?

Precicely.

Alex: Precicely.

Only over movies.

Alex: Yeah, but... only over movies.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

A lot of time.

Alex: Yeah, well... don't set your stopwatch or anything. It might be a while.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Not that, you know, we need to be, uh... oh, forget it.

Let's change the subject.

Alex: Let's just change the subject.

Jonas: No, absolutely.

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I couldn't think of a different subject...

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: We can-- we can catch back up with Ren now, I didn't mean to take so long.

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I guess a brother-sister rapport takes some time...

We'll get there.

Alex: Yeah, no, give it a week and we'll be like Siskel and Ebert.

Jonas: Always fighting?

Precicely.

Alex: Precicely.

Only over movies.

Alex: Yeah, but... only over movies.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

A lot of time.

Alex: Yeah, well... don't set your stopwatch or anything. It might be a while.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Not that, you know, we need to be, uh... oh, forget it.

(Stay silent.)

I heard your mom's dead.

Alex: I heard about your mom. I'm sorry.

Jonas: Yeah... you know... What are you gonna do.

Nice, uh, view.

Alex: It's nice at night, isn't it?

Jonas: Yeah.

I heard you were in jail?

Alex: I heard, um, I think from my mom, that... you, uh...

Jonas: Went to jail? Yeah, well... don't believe everything you hear.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I guess a brother-sister rapport takes some time...

We'll get there.

Alex: Yeah, no, give it a week and we'll be like Siskel and Ebert.

Jonas: Always fighting?

Precicely.

Alex: Precicely.

Only over movies.

Alex: Yeah, but... only over movies.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

A lot of time.

Alex: Yeah, well... don't set your stopwatch or anything. It might be a while.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Not that, you know, we need to be, uh... oh, forget it.

Jonas: We can-- we can catch back up with Ren now, I didn't mean to take so long.

Alex and Jonas catches up with Ren up the hill.

Ren: Hello kids. The other guys and gals must be further up, so... be quick now.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Um... just nevermind. I’ve already made everyone uncomfortable so...

Ren: No, it’s— you’re not making anyone uncomfortable, but... I mean, let’s all just go up. We’re like at hour one here. You’ll have ample family bonding time.

Jonas: Uh... yeah, fine, sure. No problem.

Ren: Okay, speed-read definition of Edwards Island. This is a tourist trap with shops and a beach. Nobody lives here except for some geriatric named Mrs. Adler, but as God as my witness, we’ll never mention her or any other old person’s name again. We are here to drink and be stupid, a tradition apparently started by bored recruits in the nineteen fifties who would sneak dates over from the coastal towns. They literally called it “trawling.”

Jonas: Uh huh.

How’d they pulled that?

Alex: Wait, how’d they pulled that? Isn’t, like, security an important thing in military bases?

Ren: Yes, but apparently the desire to have cheap sex with floozies will overcome all borders. It’s the American way.

That’s kinda gross.

Alex: Really? That’s kinda gross.

Ren: Yeah, sex is gross, so disgust- man, get a room you soldiers.

That’s kinda cute.

Alex: Wow. That's actually kinda funny.

Ren: Yeah, it's like kids at camp or whatever.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Ren: So, to summarize... we are not allowed here after dark, the town is shut down, and we— the Camena High Junior Class— have come to commit improper acts.

(If you didn't hear Jonas out.)

Jonas: “Improper acts,” alright.

Ren: Yeah, basically, seniors get prom, Sophomores paint that weird statue thing green... and Juniors do this.

Are more people coming?

Alex: Uh, yeah, isn’t this supposed to be like a giant, swarming, animal mask wearing freak out? Where’s everybody else?

Ren: Jesus, Alex, it’s just supposed to be like a somewhat oversized kegger. And I think more people are coming.

”Improper acts?” like what?

Alex: “Improper acts?” What does that even mean, soaping windows?

Jonas: Yeah, I don’t think that’ll get us tossed in the stockade.

Ren: No. But maybe the fact that I brought a whole crap ton of drugs will.

Jonas: Oh, well, yeah, that’ll do it, then.

Ugh.

Alex: Oh God, of course you did.

Why?!

Alex: Ren, God, why?! I don't wanna babysit you when you go on a bad trip!

Ren: You're not gonna have to babysit me.

Haha.

Alex: [laughs] Of course you did.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Ren: I’ve been looking forward to this for a really long time and I’m not leaving the fun part of this to chance, that’s all.

We’re not allowed here?

Alex: Wait, we're not allowed here after dark? So like what's our plan if we get caught.

Ren: We won't. I had to promise Karen I'd shovel her driveway all winter so she'd just look the other way.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.

Ren: And the other thing... is the weirdo caves.

Jonas: “Weirdo caves?”

Ren: The whole reason Alex brought her radio is because when you go to the— it’s like the “front”—

Jonas: The mouth?

Ren: — the “mouth” of this particular cave, you can sometimes pick up frequencies to stations that don’t exist. You’ll hear voices or just... sounds... And they’re impossible to get anywhere else on the island. Crazy, right?

No way.

Alex: No way, c’mon.

Ren: Alex has always been a devout skeptic even though the 4th Grade field trip proved it without a shadow of a doubt.

I wasn’t there!

Alex: I wasn’t even there! I couldn’t go, remember?

Ren: Oh, why how convenient!

Whatever.

Alex: Oh God, whatever.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Creepy.

Alex: It's, um, it's pretty creepy... at least I've heard.

Ren: I did it once. It's amazing when it works.

There’s an explanation...

Alex: No. There must be some kind of logical explanation, like... like the rocks are somehow able to conduct lower frequencies or pick up broadcasts from further away or... something.

Ren: Or it's aliens.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Jonas: So, back up a second. Who’s Mrs. Adler?

Ren: Her family, I think, like owns or owned some of the island or something... she’s been shacked in the same spot for like seventy years. She’s kind of what you’d call a local legend. She has a house on the other side of the woods.

I can’t imagine that.

Alex: I can’t imagine living in the same exact house looking at the same exact walls for that long a time.

Ren: Well... it takes a certain someone. And actually, you know what, speaking of the opposite of those certain someones... drum roll please.

Beach living sounds nice.

Alex: Man, that woman won the life lottery. Seventy years of sleeping with the window open and smelling the ocean.

Ren: You’d be okay with never leaving? Never leaving. Just there. All the time.

Why wouldn’t I be?

Alex: Yeah... why wouldn't I be? If you're happy, you're happy. Why would you move?

Ren: Yeah! Why would you?

Maybe not...

Alex: Well, I dunno. Maybe I'd get bored with the same scenery, the same parrots screaming at me...

Ren: Well of course you'd get bored, you're bored here.

If it’s on an island!

Alex: Well, if it's on an island, then yeah! Monkey butlers, lobster wives, it's the dream.

Ren: Oh yeah, what was I thinking? Lobster wives! It's the dream!

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I guess she is!

Ren: No no no, there’s something else going on.

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: I think that’s what I would called a “hermit.”

Ren: Well... it takes a certain someone. And actually, you know what, speaking of the opposite of those certain someones... drum roll please.

Ren: Jonas, did you know that a little birdy told me that our Alex here is thinking of going out of state to college?

Jonas: Oh really?

Ren: Yeah, so... don’t get too used to her.

So what if I am?

Alex: Alright, so what if I am?

Ren: I dunno! So what if you are? I guess it’s nothing, no big deal.

A little birdy?

Alex: And did this little birdy tell everyone he did Susie Lyons even though it was only over the pants stuff?

Ren: Uhhh...

Alex: Aargh. Just because Mark spends his Study Hall at the Advisory Board doesn’t mean he’s allowed to look through our submissions.

Ren: Look, Alex...

Not really...

Alex: I don't know who you heard that from, but I'm not, not really.

Ren: Alright, well... cool, I guess.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: Look, Alex...

Ren: I just... if you are thinking of leaving, I just hope you’re doing it for the right reasons. That’s all. That’s my all spiel.

What does that mean?

Alex: What the Hell does that mean?

Ren: Nothing, nothing, nothing at all, do what you want, forget I said anything.

Why do you care about this?

Alex: Ren, why do you even care about this?

Ren: Oh, I dunno, maybe because you’re my friend? And I’ll miss you if you go, that’s what a friend does! They miss the other person. And I don’t want you to regret anything. So... yeah. Nevermind.

I’d miss you too!

Alex: Awww, Ren, ya big knuckle head. I'd miss you, too, okay? But for now I'm not gone yet and who knows what I'm gonna do, so.

Ren: Alright, alright.

Jonas: Awww, you two are like kittens in a paper sack.

Ren: Eugh, what is that?

Jonas: It's a saying.

Ren: No, it isn't.

Alex: [Laughs]

Don’t look out for me.

Alex: I don't need you to look out for me. College is college is college, who cares if I play beer pong here or in Vermont or anywhere else, it doesn't matter.

Ren: Okay, well, we're just gonna table this discussion for when I'm better prepared and I can destroy you.

Alex: [sigh]

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

Thank you, I will.

Alex: Thank you, I will.

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

Why do you care?

Alex: Ren, why do you even care about this?

Ren: Oh, I dunno, maybe because you’re my friend? And I’ll miss you if you go, that’s what a friend does! They miss the other person. And I don’t want you to regret anything. So... yeah. Nevermind.

I’d miss you too!

Alex: Awww, Ren, ya big knuckle head. I'd miss you, too, okay? But for now I'm not gone yet and who knows what I'm gonna do, so.

Ren: Alright, alright.

Jonas: Awww, you two are like kittens in a paper sack.

Ren: Eugh, what is that?

Jonas: It's a saying.

Ren: No, it isn't.

Alex: [Laughs]

Don’t look out for me.

Alex: I don't need you to look out for me. College is college is college, who cares if I play beer pong here or in Vermont or anywhere else, it doesn't matter.

Ren: Okay, well, we're just gonna table this discussion for when I'm better prepared and I can destroy you.

Alex: [sigh]

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

I’m not even sure yet.

Alex: I'm not even sure yet, Ren, okay? I have no idea where I'm gonna go, so...

Ren: Okay, okay, that's all I wanted to hear, I said my piece.

Why do you even care?

Alex: Ren, why do you even care about this?

Ren: Oh, I dunno, maybe because you’re my friend? And I’ll miss you if you go, that’s what a friend does! They miss the other person. And I don’t want you to regret anything. So... yeah. Nevermind.

I’d miss you too!

Alex: Awww, Ren, ya big knuckle head. I'd miss you, too, okay? But for now I'm not gone yet and who knows what I'm gonna do, so.

Ren: Alright, alright.

Jonas: Awww, you two are like kittens in a paper sack.

Ren: Eugh, what is that?

Jonas: It's a saying.

Ren: No, it isn't.

Alex: [Laughs]

Don’t look out for me.

Alex: I don't need you to look out for me. College is college is college, who cares if I play beer pong here or in Vermont or anywhere else, it doesn't matter.

Ren: Okay, well, we're just gonna table this discussion for when I'm better prepared and I can destroy you.

Alex: [sigh]

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

Sheesh, fine.

Alex: Sheesh.

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

(Stay silent.)

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

(Stay silent.)

Ren: And now you’re not talking to me, okay, great.

Jonas: Thanks so much for bringing me out you guys. I can tell I’m gonna have a really good time.

I'm sorry.

Alex: Ugh, I’m sorry, we’ll stop.

Ren: Yeah, this’ll be fun, don’t worry. Even if Alex is a listless drifter ruining her own life.

Shut up.

Alex: Oh, shut up. What else would you be doing.

Jonas: Good point.

We normally don’t bicker.

Alex: We, uh, we don't normally bicker so much.

Ren: Yes, normally I just agree with everything she says. So this is unusual.

(Stay silent.)

Ren: [chuckles] Well, uh, we’ll stop now. I’ll stop. The adventure awaits!

They arrive at the top of the Main Street and cross the bridge.

Ren: The beaten path officially ends here. The beach is past the fence. I think Jerry told me that there’s a way that they used to get over there, but... I’m blanking on what it was. But it’s not— I mean, it can’t be too difficult.

Oh good.

Alex: Oh. Perfect.

Ren: Well just wait a minute and let me think.

There must be something.

Alex: Well, look, there must be something. I mean, if Jerry got over...

Ren: Yeah, exactly.

(Stay silent.)

(No extra conversation.)

Alex realises the dumpster in the corner.

Alex: I think the dumpster will get us over if it’ll, uh, budge.

Jonas: Well, let’s try it.

Alex and Jonas pushes the dumpster near the fence. They all jump over it go to Cliffs.

Advertisement